


My baby’s sweet as can be

by therewascourfeyrac



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Analysis, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff without Plot, Mighty Nein, No Spoilers, Trans Male Character, the author chugged loving girls juice before writing this, trans author, trans fjord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 21:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20142313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therewascourfeyrac/pseuds/therewascourfeyrac
Summary: ... she give me toothaches just from kissing meFjord and Jester take watch together after a long day, Fjord overthinks, Jester is unfairly pretty, you know the rest.I started writing this around episode 68, though you don't necessarily have to be caught up to there to read this.





	My baby’s sweet as can be

**Author's Note:**

> Fjord is trans, though in this fic it's mostly just a background thing that I allude to. Please note that when he refers to relationship insecurities, it's not because he's trans!  
Although I wrote this around when I was watching episodes 68 through to 73, it's not really episode specific, and I'm very vague about what the Nein are all up to, so as long as you don't mind minor spoilers (like where they are atm), it's not necessary to be completely caught up.  
Title is, of course, from Work Song by Hozier.  
I'll probably write a follow-up piece considering... recent developments to Fjord's character.

Beau shook him awake, and despite sleeping deeply just a moment before Fjord’s eyes snapped open immediately, the Falchion summoned into his hand.

“Woah, man‒ geez, calm down. It’s just me,” she gave him an unamused eye roll, “Your turn to take watch.” Fjord groaned and sat up, putting his weapon away and instantly regretting agreeing to take the second watch as his bruised and aching body complained at the movement. He couldn’t remember the last time he woke up without feeling as though he’d been caught in a rockfall whilst he slept, without the painful reminder of the previous day’s fights and trials‒ certainly not since the first two weeks in the Xhorhouse‒ but yesterday he had been particularly unlucky.

Beau was already walking away, waking Jester in a manner that he couldn’t help but think was much gentler than the greeting he’d received. For a moment it reminded him of those first nights when it was just the three of them, what seemed like a lifetime ago now, all them still trying to figure out what it meant to be a team, Fjord still trying to decide who he even was in this new life he’d been given. 

Then the nostalgia faded; Caleb muttered something in his sleep and rolled over, waking Nott so that she swore and fixed Fjord with the reflective glowing of her eyes, and Caduceus responded with a loud, rumbling snore. He still wasn’t quite sure how it was these people who began to fill in the gaps that the shipwreck left behind, but for however long it lasted he wasn’t going to start questioning it.

Jester yawned widely as she sat down on a relatively flat rock at the edge of the bubble, blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, rubbing blearily at her sleepy eyes that brightened when Fjord joined her. He managed not to make a pained noise this time as he moved to sit down, but the wince must have passed across his face all the same because Jester’s brow wrinkled with concern.

“Fj_ord!_” She half sang, “You said you weren’t hurt!”

“It’s fine Jess‒” She reached her hand up, brushing fingertips along the bruises under his eyes and traces of dried blood around his mouth where his tusks had cut his lip in the shock of being thrown some ten feet through the air‒ which, in his defence, he was pretty sure would give most people a surprise.

“What else is hurting, Fjord?”

“Don’t worry about me, really‒ I know you’re out of spells. I didn’t want to worry you.” Fjord gave her a smile, resting his hand over hers where it cupped his cheek, but felt a pang of guilt when her frown deepened beyond her usual sulky pout. “It’s nothing a few more hours of sleep and a good meal won’t fix.” Unfortunately, he could never quite manage to convincingly lie to Jester, and certainly couldn’t really commit to the claim that breakfast from ‘Duceus would fix the broken ribs and claw marks across the back of his shoulder.

Jester pulled away, and _there_ was the conspiratorial glimmer he’d been hoping for, “_Well_… technically, I have a _few _spells left. I just‒ I held a few back _just _in case, you know, I didn’t want to use them all up‒ what if we get attacked _again _or if someone wants me to send a message or if-something-terrible-happens? So I’ve got _just _enough magic left to heal you up!”

“Well. Uhh.” Fjord had the sudden urge to hold her, but as he started to move a twinge of pain shot through his body. Even if he were to argue, he didn’t think he’d be able to convince her; Jester’s fingers were already sparking with the familiar presence of the Traveller’s gifts. “Okay, Jess. I’d, uhh, I’d appreciate that.” Fjord held onto his vowels, drawing out the touch of his borrowed accent. She grinned, resting her hand on his shoulder, brushing over the side of his neck, slow, gentle, letting the always slightly ticklish sparks of healing rush through him. 

“Better?”

Fjord stretched, his joints giving a series of satisfying clicks; his bones still ached, and he was eager to get back to the house to unwrap the bindings from his chest, but the pain was substantially more bearable now. “Good. I’m good. Thank you, Jester.” Gods, his whole body softened whenever he said her name. She didn’t pull away, and he couldn’t quite look her in the eyes. “You know it’s… It’s not just up to you to keep us alive, yeah? We all look out for each other‒ if you run out of spells or get knocked down and something happens, no one would blame you for not being able to help. _I_ wouldn’t blame you.”

Jester sighed and pouted again, “Okay-y… But like. Everything is always _so _dangerous! There’s always gnolls and dragons and creepy zomb_ies_ and huge _birds _and they all want to kill us! And they’re all so much stronger than we are! Some of you are _really _squishy and I just don’t want to lose you!” Her voice got quieter, faster, more high pitched, her hands gesturing frantically, before curling up in two fists just under her chin.

“Hey, hey Jess, it’s alright. We’re getting stronger. We can take a few hits.” He knew exactly how she felt. He constantly found himself looking over his shoulder for the next threat and praying for life to get less stressful, but all that seemed to be happening was that it all got constantly more complicated and he could barely keep up with it most days. At least he could breathe‒ and sleep‒ a little better as they travelled further inland and away from the sea.

“But how am I supposed to _know _that you’re okay if you won’t even _tell me _when you’re hurt?”

Fjord took her hands, gently, wishing that they had a bit more light so that he could see the way their skin looked together in colour rather than shades of grey. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t always have to put on a brave face.”

He grimaced, struggling to think of how to begin unpacking that one. As with all things, whether it was being questioned by Caleb about his past or disguising his body the first few times he undressed in front of them all, vulnerability was not something that came easily to him. He lived with the distinct feeling that the more walls he built around the different facets of himself, the safer he would be, the easier he would find it to protect himself from hurt. And even though now, when he undressed‒ an unavoidable part of living in such close quarters with them all for so many months‒ he didn’t bother with allusions and begrudgingly accepted any questions the others had, most things felt more complicated to explain than the relatively simple appearance of his body.

Eventually, he settled for a crooked smile around his growing tusks, “This is just my normal face, Jester.” She didn’t seem impressed. “Alright. I’ll try to tell you in future.” Fjord leant forward and kissed her on the forehead, trying to subtly breathe in the sweet scent of her skin and hair, smelling of the fancy soap she’d bought in Rosohna even after several days on the road. She was still pouting at him so he moved to kiss her nose, her cheek, carefully brushing his lips against the smattering of blue freckles, then her other cheek. He was so cautious, so deeply aware of the tusks protruding from his lower jaw, but also so eager to see her smile again. Fjord paused, and her expression had shifted now, though it wasn’t quite a look that he entirely understood. There were a couple of inches between them but it felt like Jester was crossing a thousand miles when she leant towards him, giving him the chance to move away‒ but he wasn’t going anywhere‒ and joined their lips together.

He had never kissed like this before, slow, uncertain, clumsy. The way they were sitting was awkward‒ she was having to twist her body strangely, and Fjord was leaning on his still stiff arm, and they both wore armour and were trying to bend in ways the rigid material really didn’t allow. But, Gods, Fjord wanted to stay in that moment forever.

“Is this what you want? For real?” Jester said in a small voice, pulling back a few centimetres, her gaze flicking from his lips to his eyes.

“_Yes,_” he said, and he wanted to say it a thousand times over because Jester was a light he never thought he’d have. Fjord cupped her cheek and hoped the expression on his face conveyed the sincerity of his feelings. Jester surged forwards, caution replaced with urgency, arms around the back of his neck as she pulled him into another kiss. Her sharp canines caught on his lips and Fjord struggled to contain a whine, his heart racing as Jester ran her fingers through his hair, clinging onto any part of his clothes that she could get her hands on, and his mind was filled with her hair that smelled like candy and the heavy sound of her breathing and he was hyper-aware of every inch of skin that touched hers.

Jester’s nails gently scratched the nape of his neck, where his hair was shaved close to the scalp, and Fjord moaned against her lips; he tugged her closer, and eventually, she took the hint and barely broke away as she moved to straddle his legs. Her skirts got tangled a bit and Jester giggled shakily as she rearranged them, before taking Fjord’s face tenderly in her hands. She kissed him again‒ each time as sweet and wonderful as the first‒ long and chaste, and he held onto this moment of just being close to her, of letting himself have this, of allowing this vulnerability. When she pulled away, smiling, he brought their lips back together again, this time letting his mouth open, shivering as her tongue ran over his teeth and the inside of his mouth. His hands found their home on her waist, and he could have sworn he almost lost his mind right there from how beautiful she was, and how perfect she felt in his arms. He was eager to touch more of her though, in a way he rarely was when kissing someone‒ based on his limited experience, he was normally content to let the other person take the lead and just find something to do with his hands that didn’t feel completely awkward or ridiculous‒ and one hand trailed down her side to rest on her thigh. With that, Jester sighed and rocked up against him, filling what little space was left between them and pressing up against his crotch, providing a hint of friction that suddenly made his heart race.

“Hey, hey,” Fjord said softly, gently breaking away. He ran his hand through his hair and felt a blush darkening his face, “We should, uhh. Shit. We’re meant to be on watch, Jester.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “I’ve been listening out for monsters!” Although he sort of believed her, he still flicked his eyes over his shoulder and strained to hear beyond his friends’ snoring and the strong winds across the land, heart lurching as his imagination ran wild with all the possible ways they could have been ambushed whilst he and Jester were… distracted. Once he was convinced that they were not in any immediate danger of being murdered, he could shift his nerves to other things‒ most importantly, the fact that Jester was straddling his lap, and he could still feel the lasting impression of their kiss on his lips, and couldn’t breathe in without his lungs filling with the scent of her perfume and soap. 

“Are you alright, Fjord?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “I’m really great.” Jester smiled and tilted her head down to kiss his neck. “I just… I don’t want to rush this. If‒ If this is something that we want, then I’d, well, like to take my time.” What he didn’t say was that he wanted to wait until another day, to make sure it was really _him _that Jester wanted, and that this wasn’t just all because they’d had a long day, and she thought he was attractive, and as good a choice as any to practice kissing on.

Jester’s face dropped a little with disappointment, and though she covered it with a smile she was never very good at hiding her true feelings.

“I guess that’s not what Oskar would say, huh?” Fjord gave her a soft smile and tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear.

“Probably not…” She paused, then her face lit up and she playfully poked the armour over his chest, “But I bet it’s something Yeza would say!”

“… What?”

Jester looked away sheepishly, “Never mind.”

“Please… Don’t bring up Yeza and Nott right now,” Fjord said dryly, “I don’t wanna think about that.” Jester giggled and placed one last kiss on his cheek before climbing off him, this time sitting so that their shoulders were pressed together. After a quiet moment, she shifted again to rest the side of her face on his shoulder, taking his hand in hers. Fjord supposed this was probably the point where he should wrap his arm around her, hold her tight and close, but he had frozen up all of a sudden, his mind racing.

It wasn’t that kissing Jester wasn’t nice‒ hell, it was amazing, better than he’d imagined‒ and, still as he was, his thoughts were torn between quiet panicking and weighing up the repercussions of abandoning their watch all together and kissing until the sun came up. Yet he remained fixed in place, searching for what to say.

The last thing Fjord wanted was to hurt Jester. She’d been hurt and disappointed and screwed over so many times already, and though she tried to maintain her cheery disposition it was clearly starting to take its toll, and the idea of contributing any more pain to her life was an awful one. She deserved to be happy, to be treated with endless kindness and loyalty, and as much as Fjord cared for her, he was honestly terrified that those weren’t things he could guarantee. There was no way of knowing what threats Uk’otoa would hold over him next, or what he might be forced into doing‒ more than that though, he was becoming increasingly aware lately of how little experience he had of loyalty and permanence, and slowly realising how strong the bonds between the Nein were was intimidating, to say the least. For now, Fjord felt he still had enough walls around himself to feel safe, to keep the panic at bay, but Jester deserved better than someone refusing to acknowledge, even to himself, his own vulnerability.

He was psyching himself up to let Jester down, telling himself it was better and kinder in the long run, and yet… He’d made a habit of hiding so much of himself, and recently he wasn’t even sure why anymore. There _was _a possibility that he was equally afraid of being hurt himself, terrified that Jester’s attraction was trivial at best, and unable to shake off the memories of previous romantic endeavours‒ though calling them ‘romantic’ was perhaps a rather generous description.

“Fj_ord,_” Jester whispered, sitting up to look at him properly, “You’re thinking like. _Really _hard.”

“Am I? Sorry.” Gods, opening up was painful. He cleared his throat, scrambling for a way to put his thoughts into words._ Whatever you do, _Fjord thought, _don’t mention Avantika. _

“Your forehead gets all scrunchy when you don’t know what to do,” Jester said, teasing, and with a significant edge of anxiety behind her playful words. Fjord rubbed at his forehead, as though he might be able to smooth out the creases. “Did you not want to kiss me?”

“No‒ I mean, yes. I mean‒” He tipped his head back, wincing at his clumsy words, “I very much wanted to kiss you, Jessie. I haven’t been able to think of much else‒ when we’re together.”

“Good!” She visibly relaxed. “And, just so you know, you’re, like, _really _good at kissing.” She grinned wide enough to show off her pointed canines, which Fjord always thought made her smile all the prettier.

“You’re, uhh. You’re pretty good yourself.” Fjord looked away from her, absentmindedly picking at his tusks, but Jester’s hand gently came up to meet his and he let her guide his fingers away, pausing to lean towards her palm and press a kiss there.

“Whatever it is you want, I’m here.” This time she moved their joined hands to his cheek, and he leant into the touch, turning his gaze back to her. Something about the sincerity and tenderness in her voice settled his racing mind. “Just don’t get killed or eaten before I get to kiss you again!” Fjord bit back a remark about clerics and healing spells, smart enough at least to know it would be a tactless and poorly timed joke.

Instead, he took a moment to look at her, a luxury he rarely had the chance for, whether it was because their lives were so fast and lacking in privacy, or because it was generally weird to stare at your friends longingly for extended periods of time. Jester really was unfairly pretty. Everything about the way she talked and moved, her features lighting up with every feeling and so unashamedly expressive, made it impossible not to be a little in love with her. He was sure that most of the Nein were, in their own ways, a little in love with her, and he couldn’t even bring himself to be resentful or jealous of that, because how could they not love her? She was so soft and so ridiculous, and he was completely enamoured with the pattern of freckles across her face, adored her smiles and grumpy frowns and pastry crumbs smeared around her mouth, and was endlessly entertained by the joy she took in using magic and how she found an opportunity for laughter and chaos pretty much anywhere.

“Well,” Fjord said at last, “Just in case I do something stupid tomorrow…” And he closed the gap between them, kissing Jester with gentle, earnest care, brushing his fingers along her jaw, holding firm to the hand still pressed to his cheek. When he pulled away, he swore that he could see the moonlight reflected in her violet eyes and promised himself that he would not screw this up.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments might help to bring a part 2 into existence....... just saying  
Say hi on tumblr! I'm @transcerat0ps


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